Frustrated!

I am so frustrated with the kids. We bought them a nice train table with train tracks, buildings, and trains plus drawers to store all the pieces in. Hubby and I bought that for our first Christmas here. And now, four years later, it's broke.

What the heck goes on through their minds? They are suppose to be taking a nap although they think if they are quiet enough, mommy won't notice they aren't sleeping. I hear dresser drawers slamming, my daughter shushing my son, and the doors opening and closing. And I can't hear them. Yeah right.

I really do hate spanking them, but it seems to be the only way they listen to me. You can get them all these educational toys, boxes, expensive or cheap toys, and where do they wind up? Outside (even though I tell them no), dirty, greasy, poopy, or plain broken.

I asked them both what happened to the train table. They stood there staring at me like I had an elephant on my shoulder. My son says nothing while my daughter as usual denies doing anything. 

So as a punishment for breaking the nice train table, all their toys are taken away. I swear if anyone gets them anymore toys, I will throw them away. I'm about to throw their toys away right now as it is. They can't pick them up when I tell them to, they get dirty or broken, and I'm seriously tired of the headaches.

I'm not saying that I'm a perfect mom with a perfect house or that I want my children to be perfect, but these kids can't seem to respect anything -especially me, their mother. I want to provide the best for them, but if they aren't going to learn to respect each other, their toys, and myself, then they don't deserve anything.

Maybe that's what is wrong with these kids. They have no respect for anything given to them because they haven't earned it. They haven't worked for it. They need to learn to be grateful for what they have, but they refuse. "Let's climb on the table and jump off!" "Let's sit in the drawers!" What is going on in their empty heads?

I'm grateful for what's been given to me, but why can't the kids understand that? Why can't they be grateful for the toys they have already? Why do they seem to want to break everything in sight?

Very aggravated and frustrated today.